Little Girl in a Big (Boys') Lab

Ok, so stop me if you've heard this one before. So, scientists are mostly guys, right? And the particularity mathy ones (Physics, Programming, Engineering, etc) even more so, right? So, they're, you know, all kinda awkward around girls and stuff, right? Oh, stereotypes, you're so funny and so often wrong.

In my scientific career, I have found the ideas both of "scientists are men" and "male scientists are awkward with girls" to be flat out wrong. Sure, most scientists, at least in the aforementioned mathy sciences, are male. But "most" only requires a simple majority. Were there more boys that girls in my AP physics class? Absolutely. But you know what? The girls got the highest grades. Not only that, but no-one cared. I was never treated differently then any of the other students in that class. And neither was Aimie or Rianne. If anything, the three of us picked on Justin, the only boy "brave" enough to sit with the three of us.

In college, the same has been true. There are both men and women in my classes, and no-one really cares. Interestingly, of the four physics majors in my year, three are female. And yes, we feel slightly patronized sometimes, but when the entire department is either male or temporary/pregnant that's a bit inevitable. I am of the opinion that my advisor is slightly patronizing of everyone, regardless of gender, and have observed this to be true. I don't feel particularly put upon by being a woman. If anything, the administration of my college seems to discriminate against me for being a scientist, the @*&^O$*s (oh, I'm sorry. That was completely uncalled for, especially as I am a polite young lady that certainly doesn't know what that word could possibly mean. I also major in something vaguely useless, like studio art or English, and will likely marry a rich husband and donate lots of money to the college). Anyway, the point is that I have never encountered any sort of difficulty in the scientific community based on having two X chromosomes.

The awkwardness thing is a bit overblown as well. Are scientist awkward? Sometimes. I myself am certainly not the most socially graceful in the world.  But there is a difference between the gawky, uncomfortable people you see on television and the ones you meet in real life. Are Mudders awkward? Certainly. But speaking as someone whose rooommate slept with an entire dorm's worth, they clearly aren't that bad. Several I know think that I'm strange. And I'm not the one at an engineering college. So the whole awkward, nerdy scientist thing? Highly exaggerated.

Stereotypes people. They're often wrong, and embarrassingly so. They might be based on some long ago truth, but aren't necessarily true now. For the one's I've mentioned, there doesn't seem to be much basis.

That was then, this is OH MY GOD A GIRL JUST WALKED INTO THE COMPUTATIONAL PHYSICS LAB!!!

Imagine my joy at this reception.

Oh, it was silent, of course. But that's part of how I knew it was happening. By the time the door had swung shut behind me, the sounds of frantically typing fingers and whispering groups had completely ceased. If the Higgs Boson had suddenly walked into the room and introduced itself to everyone, it would not have had a more shocked reception. I could almost hear the code compiling.

And so, with several dozen pairs of eyes on me, I walked across the room to a computer, sat down, and logged in. Opening up my files, I ran over them once before attempting to compile and tackling a small mountain of errors. Around me, life started to return to something approaching normal. The hostility, on the other hand, remained very apparent. There was probably more whispering and less typing, but I didn't care. I had a null pointer exception to track down.

What makes this so fascinating is the fact that I have been going to this lab at least once every week for the past nine weeks. Admittedly, this was during my class's specific scheduled lab session. There are two other girls in my class, and things had never been awkward like this. The difference: I was here two hours early, trying to get some work done beforehand. As time went on, several of these highly uncomfortable gentlemen looked at their watches, got up, and left. By the time it was two o'clock, there were three other people in the lab. At this point, people for my lab session started coming in, and life returned to normal.

For the first time in my life, I've been treated as some sort of horrible unwanted intrusion. It wasn't nice. Is it enough to deter me? Not in the slightest. In fact, the horribly sadistic part of me has smelled fear, and their fear is, in a way, my power. You don't think I belong in your lab? Oh, I'm so sorry, I may just have to spend ALL DAY* there then. Muahaha!

I am a female scientist. Who knows C, Java, and Python. I'm not allowed into your toy box? Well, I might just have to break it then.

*I would never actually do this. The lab is in the basement, and has only one teeny tiny window. I will, of course, come up with some other sort of plan.