Lovely weather we're having for this time of year

The weather today could be easily described in two words : winter squall. In fact, that could explain the weather for the last several days. Let me describe it for you:

• Wednesday: mostly sunny, but with a cloudburst as I came back from the grocery store, followed by more sun. 
• Wednesday night: thunder and lightning (yes really). 
• Thursday morning: Snowing when I get up. Snaining by the time I finish breakfast. Raining on the way to class. Sun by the time I get out an hour later. 
• Thursday afternoon: Raining lightly (misting, really) when I go to lab. Pouring rain with constant wind and sudden gusts three hours later.
• Thursday evening: Continuation of the same wind conditions, but now with hail.
• Friday: Rain and wind. All day. With ferocious gusts out of nowhere.

Exhibit A

 Of course, none of this phases the brave Scots, who simply layer on more wool, and, if it gets really awful, might possibly put on a mackintosh (rain coat). I, on the other hand, huddle inside, drinking copious amounts of tea and praying the windows don't break (yes, it's that windy).  Thank heaven for the fact that almost all the powerlines where I am are buried, or I'd worry about losing power.

In other news, I've decided that tomorrow is probably a bad day to go to the castle...

Adventures With Toast (or: Welcome to Your New Flat)

I experience life through food. That’s just how I function. Because of this, one of the first moments that I really realized I was in a different country was when I was faced with the food selection in my local grocery store. This was on Sunday afternoon, and although I’d been in the country since Wednesday, it hadn’t really seemed real. It was the butter and cheese that had done it. There was so much available that it was sorted by what part of the country it was from. Welcome to Scotland, the land of milk and – well, milk.

Back in my flat, I transferred all of my purchases to the relevant storage location. At this point, I was faced with something else different: the kitchen. An inventory of appliances is as follows: a refrigerator, a microwave, and an electric stove/oven unit with two tiny ovens. That’s it. Oh, except for the hot water pot. Understandably then, I was faced with a bit of a dilemma when I wanted some toast with my cup of tea. There isn’t a toaster.

Fortunately, one of my flatmates was able to enlighten me on the toast making process. I of course completely ignored her directions and muddled it out on my own. Because of this, I now know both what to do and what not to do.

To make toast:

1. Turn on the top oven to gas 4. Do not, under any circumstances, turn it up to 5 or 6, even if you’re in a hurry. 
2. Place no more than two slices of bread on the toast rack. While it looks like more would fit, this is in fact not the case. 
3. Slide the toast rack into the top rack of the oven. Make sure bread is not touching the heating element. 
4. Watch toast carefully. When bread appears, well, toasty, flip to toast the other side. If you don’t watch the toast carefully, it will burn. 
5. When finished, remove the toast from the oven, turn off, and eat the toast.

Very straight forward, right? However, if you’re like me, you completely ignored the warnings in either step 1 or step 4. And because you ignored these warnings, your toast burned. So, here are some trouble shooting steps.

To salvage toast (complete these steps as quickly as humanly possible):

1. Quickly pull toast out of the oven. 
2. Open the window, because the fire alarm going off is really not optimal.
3. Turn the oven off.  
4. Place toast on plate, and cover with topping of your choice. Opaque toppings such as peanut butter or nutella are ideal, as these camouflage the burnt bits.
5. Sit at the table and act as normal as possible. That way, when your flatmates poke their heads into the kitchen asking if you burned something, you can shake your head and act mystified. “No, not that I know of. But I did make some toast.”

Commence camouflage procedure

Originally written for the Scripps College Off-Campus Study blog

The Varied and Exciting Adventures of Andrea and the New Shoes

Today, I did something unbelievably stupid: I wore new shoes. While this by itself isn't terribly stupid, what is stupid is wearing a new pair of shoes on a day you will be doing a lot of walking. Which for me is everyday. So, wearing new shoes was a bit of a bad move. Which resulted in an interesting day.

1. The shoes
I got a box in the mail from home yesterday. Within: a new pair of shorts (yay!) and a new pair of shoes. The shoes were somewhat unexpected; my mom bought them for me because she thought I'd like them, and I do. They are white canvas, sort of a cross between a sneaker and a ballet flat. Comfortable sneaker footbed, cute ballet flat scoop. What's not to love?

2. The walk
I walk to class everyday. It takes around 15 minutes for me to get from my dorm to class. While ASU is, to me anyway, an enormous campus, this is roughly equivalent to me walking from my Scripps dorm to my computer science class at the north end of Pomona. Except for the heat, it's rather a nice walk. After class, I walk to the student union to grab lunch. This takes about 10 minutes if I'm going slowly, which I tend to be. After lunch, I walk back to my dorm, another 10 minutes or so. Significant walking? Not really, but it's not exactly short either.

3. The problem
So, walking to class in new shoes. After about the first hundred feet or so, I noticed that the shoes were rubbing on the back of my heel. After another hundred feet, that rubbing was starting to get painful. Unfortunately, I had to keep going in order to get to class on time. When I sat down in class, I pulled my shoes off; I already had blisters the size of quarters on the back of both heels. During my break, I stuffed some toilet paper in the heel of my shoes in an attempt to cushion them. It didn't work. The toilet paper just ended up stuffed under my foot.

4. The walk again
So here I am in class with blisters, and I need to walk to lunch and then back to my room. I figured the walk to the student union wouldn't be too awful if I walked briskly, instead of strolling as I usually did. I was wrong. Sitting down to eat was fantastic, it meant I didn't have to walk. After lunch, with the prospect of another walk ahead of me, I did the logical thing: took my shoes off and started walking back barefoot. What could possibly go wrong?

5. And you thought this would be obvious.
New thing I learned today: if the air is hot, the ground is probably hot too. Being the swarthy Alaskan I am (who am I kidding?), I like walking around barefoot. In the summer, I don't put on shoes unless I have too. Like, for example, when it's 70 degrees outside and the back deck is too hot to walk on. Clearly, I should have realized that when it's 100 degrees outside, the ground would be even hotter. Nah. And so, half way down a flight of outdoor stairs, I start hopping up and down like a crazy person and rush to the modest shade provided by a trash can. The bottoms of my feet (under a healthy layer of dirt) were bright pink, bordering on red. I had just successfully burned the bottoms of my feet on pavement.

6. The walk, continued
Big 'ole blisters, check. Burned feet, check. A decent walk back to my room, check. And so, I folded down the back of my new shoes and wore them like slides, shuffling home. It hurt.

7. The conclusion
Did I do something extremely stupid today? Why yes, yes I did. Did I learn my lesson? I sure as heck hope so.

Armed with neosporin, band aids, and thick socks, I have mostly solved the problems I caused today. Do my feet still hurt? Absolutely, but it's my own fault. The exciting bit will be walking to class tomorrow. I can tell you one thing: I won't be wearing my new shoes.

collegate improvisation

Roses! yet, alas,
I have no vase for them. To
Save the day? Nalgene!

A tragedy of food

Tikka Masala,
Six twenty-seven, but I
Have only six dollars.

State of Existence

It's a census year. We all know that. Everywhere, there are signs and posters telling us that the census is a "portrait of America" and that "everyone counts." It's the way that the government keeps count of how many people are in the country. And of course, the census is also how the government decides to divvy up the 435 seats in the House of Representatives. And this, ladies and gentlemen, is where I have a problem.

I am a resident of the state of Alaska. I am registered to vote in the state of Alaska. I receive my credit card bill in the state of Alaska. I receive my PFD every year because of the fact that I live in the state of Alaska. I currently attend school in the state of California. However, this school has listed my permanent address as being in the state of Alaska. So clearly, when I fill out the census, I should be counted as a resident of Alaska when it comes time to hand out those 435 seats, right?

Wrong.

As I was told (with a straight face) by the census worker I asked, the census is "a snapshot of America on April first," census day. And because of this, since I was in the state of California on April first, I am considered a resident of California and will be counted as such when it comes time to hand out seats. So too, I learned, would international students attending college in California. When I asked why, the census worker (after proudly showing off some sort of badge that meant he got to answer my questions) began to explain to me the origins of the census, and that it is administered by the federal government because states could exaggerate the number of residents they had in order to get more Representatives. Which, of course, was not the answer to the question I asked.

As a resident of the state of Alaska, I will happily stand up and be counted.

But not, as it seems, in Alaska.

Maybe they should check their symptoms...

I received an e-mail this morning from the lovely institution that I attend. It was well intentioned I'm sure. But logical...?

The email is a warning about heat stroke, and other heat related problems. There's currently a heat wave here, with the temperature right now above 100. And so, this e-mail. I shall present you with a few excerpts.

"The Los Angeles County Health Officer, Dr. Jonathan E. Fielding, would like to remind everyone that precautions should be taken, especially by those people sensitive to the heat. 'While people don’t need to be told it’s hot outside, they do need to be reminded to take care of themselves [...] when the weather gets hotter,' said Jonathan E. Fielding, MD, MPH, Director of Public Health and Health Officer. 'When temperatures are high, prolonged sun exposure may cause dehydration, heat cramps, heat exhaustion, and heat stroke.'"

Useful information, it's true. The risks of heat related illness are very real, and it's easy to forget how long you've been out and that you need to drink more water. But wait, there's more:

"If you plan to be outdoors, take precautions to protect yourself from the heat. Symptoms of dehydration and heat cramps include dizziness, fatigue, faintness, headaches, muscle cramps, and increased thirst. Individuals with these symptoms should be moved to a cooler, shaded place and given water or sport drinks. More severe symptoms such as diminished judgment, disorientation, pale and clammy skin, a rapid and weak pulse, and/or fast and shallow breathing may indicate heat exhaustion or impending heat stroke and requires immediate medical attention."

Scary. But, hold on. Diminished judgement? Really? Ok, I'm not knocking the truth of this, but I would say that diminished judgement has something to do with the following instructions to students.

• During peak heat hours stay in an air-conditioned area. If you don’t have access to air conditioning in your home, visit public facilities such as shopping malls, parks, and libraries to stay cool.
• Avoid unnecessary exertion, such as vigorous exercise during peak sun hours, if you are outside or in a non-air conditioned building.
• Stay out of the sun if you do not need to be in it. When in the sun, wear a hat, preferably with a wide brim, and loose-fitting clothing with long sleeves and pants to protect yourself from sun damage.

Objection 1:
Only three dorms and one class building have reliable air conditioning. The other two buildings and six dorms do not. The other four campuses have a similar situation, with some newer buildings having AC, and most older buildings not. Students will have spotty access to air conditioning at best, and none at worst. Strike one.

Objection 2:
Students are required to exert themselves to get anywhere on campus. The wonderful faculty and staff have access to a wide range of campus-owned golf carts, but students either walk, bike, unicycle, skateboard, or scooter their way to class. And when one has to, for example, get from the middle of the southern most campus up to the north end of the northern most campus in ten minuets, "unnecessary exertion" is the least of their worries. Strike two.

Objection 3:
I'm not sure if I'm reading this right. "Stay out of the sun" it says. Hmm. Well, when that campus wide umbrella is built, this may be possible. In the mean-time, students are, as I mentioned above, out and about going to class and office hours and hanging out in the courtyards and sunbathing conveniently in the path of the shirtless CMS cross country team... In short, not avoiding the sun. While some of those activities are unnecessary (except the sunbathing, clearly), some are unavoidable. Students do still have to walk to class... Strike three.

You're out.

Now, would you like some water, Scripps? You're looking a little disoriented.

The Time Has Come

As it is now late August, a terrible time has come upon us. We may wail, beat our chests, and cry pitiosly, but the march of time cannot be stopped. And so we sadly pack our suitcases and bid a tearful goodbye to summer.

Some of us have already returned to school. Some of us will be back soon. Two of us will be starting college for the first time. And as exciting as it is to be reunited with friends from around the country (or to meet new ones), there is still a certain sadness involved when the time comes to leave home (note: the author has only been home for the last week and is not yet sick and tired of having nothing to do but sit around all day).

But inevitably, go we must. We go to new roommates and new classes, often in old buildings with old professors. We go to clubs, dance teams, afternoon tea and bible study (to each their own). We go with memories of exotic, far away places, exciting adventures, and plenty of new photographs.

And most of all, we go with the knowledge that this year, perhaps, can be just a little better then the year before. We'll try something new, meet someone new, learn something new. With each year, so may new things, and there's no going back.

The time has come.

An Ode to an Ant (and a hundred more)

Oh ant,
Why do you insist
Upon living in my bathroom?

You may be small
But you are a large nuisance,
Walking across the counter

Outside, I hear,
Is a very nice place to live
Much better then under
A leaky sink

What do you eat,
Oh ant?
For the bathroom does not have
Any food.

One day,
I will enter the bathroom
And you will be gone.

If my maintenance request is filled.

gotta love the wisdom of college students...

Is there really anything left to say?

Graffiti

SCISSOR ME SCRIPPSIES
Reads one, in bright orange spray paint
In the driveway of the alumni house.

EVERY LASH
Says another, in green
On the way to the dining hall

(DICK)TATION
Cry others, in many colors
In front of the dorms
On the tree walk
On the lawn
Maturely written with a phallus,
Rather than words

Last week, another,
Sprayed on a plaster wall
Behind my dorm
Declared us all lesbians
And worthy of punishment
Although the wording
Was much less eloquent

What have we done
To deserve such words?
Such hate?
Such malice?
Such defamation?

Perhaps, one whispers,
We've done nothing.
This voice gets stronger,
Repeating the phrase.

We've done nothing
Nothing to deserve any of this
Except one thing:

We learn.

We are a community of women,
Living and learning together.
We support each other,
Respect each other,
Love each other.

This, the voice says, must be why.

By being independent.

By considering ourselves equals.

By working to be more than just women.

By learning.

To the men who've done this
For they must be male,
We offer you this:

No

Mercy.

Yes I am THAT short

any mail in box?

unfortunately, no clue

time to jump and see

Jeepers, creepers, why don't you close those peepers?

Peeping toms
across the street
second floor balcony
of the Mudd dorm

pass a cigarette
amongst themselves

see me looking

smile

and give
a jaunty wave

A Haiku on Fire Alarms, and How Much They Annoy Me

I sat, serene, the
Room was quiet, still, empty
The alarm went off

I stand, in the wet
Grass and consider, glad I
Was not showering

The moral of this
Story is that one must use
More care when cooking

I walked past...then I backed up and walked past again...

...hmm

Adventures with google translate

Loni's heroic couplet

tocino buen cocido, mucho de 

la gente que nos pasan dicen ¡mmm!

our translation

bacon cooked well, many of

the people who pass us say Yum!

google translate's translation

bacon cooked a lot of good people who pass us say mmm

....well that changes the meaning a bit doesn't it?

Scandinavian Specialty:

on an attempt to make caramel

Starbucks whipping cream

18 tablespoons butter

3 cups of sugar

oops, uh-oh burning

so, apples only, sorry

for this christmas bash

back to the kitchen

experimenting further

who will eat this stuff?

says genius Sarah

our marketing lacks finesse

make up a good name

try our new special

its from Scandinavia

"yum coffee toffee"

Loni's lovely haikus....

she makes me laugh.

slick slimy tortoise

slides across the boiling lake

he is almost dead.

 

Reasons Why My Roomates Should Not Be Given Holiday Decorations

So, my roommate (Annsley) was visited by her parents on Friday, and they want to Target. There is a door decorating competition for our dorm, and I had asked her to see if she could pick something up that we could use.

I got a little more than I bargained for.

As you can see from the above, Annsley and Emily, my other roommate, went a little nuts (ok, so I helped a little). Annsley demonstrated very well that she should not be given ribbon, although it was really funny watching Emily's face when she came out of the shower and saw what had happened to the bunk bed. Emily is responsible for the menorah on the door (although I fixed it, since she somehow forgot two branches) as well as the pom-pom garland around the board and name tags. Tinsel features rather largely in the decorating scheme, as does duct-tape.

But no matter how ridiculous it looks, we had a ton of fun.

Common Grounds, Common Vomit

Things I take pleasure in:

• Listening to the marijuana posession citations of my next door neighbor
• Amusing snippets of conversation from passersby on cell phones
• Forking queens in hall chess tournaments
• Taking off my shoes after a long day of classes
• Finding something new to put up on my wall, because it means I get to use the yellow sticky putty
• Watching Battlestar Galactica into the wee hours of the morning with hall mates
  
• Watching really good Eugenian street musicians
• Watching really bad Eugenian street musicians
• 6AM Starbucks runs after a long night of paper-writing

Things that make me unhappy:

• Thinking I slept through my math midterm, only to learn that it's actually next week
• The lingering miasma of vomit in the hallway
• The intersection of 13th and University Street, where I am sure to die by bicycle collision
• Poorly constructed chicken pesto sandwiches from the cafe
• Only being able to register for 18 credits
• The agonizing wait for winter break
• Missing Alaska... just a little